Wednesday, October 21, 2009
My girlfriend Mande took me to a fashion show thing in Hollywood last weekend. Yes, I sound super-cool, I know. It really wasn't anything to write home about. But it is something to write on your blog about! Mande knew someone who could "get us on the list" but as it turns out, pretty much anyone could get on the list.
"Going out" in LA is highly overated. First you spend hours stressing about what to wear, wondering if people will spot you for the nerd that you are. Then you sit in traffic and then you get lost. Then you spend hours looking for parking. You pay $15 - 20 for parking. You walk half a mile to the venue. You wait in line. Even if it is the "on the list" line, you wait awhile. This is usually when the heels start to seriously hurt. You finally get in and wait in a 15 minute line at the bar . . . to buy a $10 vodka tonic. Then you lose your friends and spend 10 minutes texting one another as a search and rescue mission.
where r u?
in potty line
wheres that? i need 2 go 2
next to vip . . . creepy guy hitting on me! help!
More waiting in line for the bathroom line. All three girls go in together which means people will proceed to pound on the door because you're taking too long. Then you either dance a bit or wait for the concert to start, or, in this case, wait 45 minutes for fashion show to start. At this point, your feet are without a doubt numb.
We ended up watching just one designer's line and half a song from Da Twin Rappers before deciding to get out of the chaos and get a burger or something.
Needless to say, it was the first time I actually saw a real, in-person fashion show, so that was cool. It wasn't fancy like on Project Runway/Rachel Zoe. We were all standing on the floor under the runway. We could the models undies! Yikes! Also, the models were a little scary.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Okay, I was on the AMAZING AwkwardFamilyPhotos.com and I seriously injured myself in two places laughing so hard. Aaron didn't quite see the humor, but I had tears streaming down my face and I think I pulled a muscle in my neck, along with both sides of my jaw hurting. Whoever said laughter is the best medicine did not realize how hazardous it can be.
Note how she is actually POSING for the picture, with sort of a passive-agressive smile. Hysterical. A few captions (some are my own original thoughts, some inspired by comments on the site):
1. The really creepy part is that Grandma is dead. And boy is she pissed about the hot young new grandma.
2. One word: Agoraphobia.
3. "Dad, I don't want to hurt Mom's feelings, but I'd like a picture of just the two of us."
4. Who let Aunt Bertha out of the basement?
5. "I'm not gonna be ignored, Dan!"
6. Poor Aunt Hilda has Swine Flu and has been quarentined
7. "I never miss a photo op!"
8. "Step right up and get your picture with an old guy! Wait behind the door until your number is called."
9. The Grandma is actually just a cardboard cutout, like that guy in Three Men and a Baby that everyone said was a ghost.
10. The family prefers not to discuss Nana's house arrest. It's a delicate subject.